[Guide] How to put on your pants.

Originally Posted by Nathan R

Can you make a guide on how to take your pants off in 3 seconds? (For when you're with a girl who's really horny but has the attention span of < 3 seconds.

I will.

step 1)
Carry a sealed container of miner's grade calcium carbide in your pocket.

step 2)
soak your pants in water.

step 3)
coat your pants in the carbide.

step 4)
spark pants

step 5)
sex

Repeat step 5 as needed.