How to get rid of your roomate!!

[Eskimo Bob]

Welcome to the guide on "HOW TO GET RID OF A ROOMATE"
This guide teaches you about two different types of roomates and how to get rid of them :P

The Polite Guy

This is the creep who goes out of his way to be nice and make conversation. He’s the guy who’s always trying to talk to you. As well he’s probably in a bunch of your classes. You could just take advantage of him and make him buy all your food and other stuff for you, but then you’d have to deal with his insane considerate personality that he has.

How to get rid of the Polite Guy :P

-Become really intense and get pissed when he tries to talk to you.
-Keep a consistent scowl on your face.
-Squeeze your hands into fists when he speaks and try to shake a lot.
-Always appear that you’re on the verge of some kind of violent explosion.
-Spend all of your time in your dorm room and make it appear that you don’t leave.
-Let him catch you staring angrily at his stuff once or twice.
-Get some red duct tape and tape a line across the floor when he’s not around; don’t tell him its purpose. If he or any of his shit crosses it, lose your mind and start screaming and foaming at the mouth.

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The Crazy Guy

If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with an easily categorized roommate. If God hates you, however, you might end up with The Crazy Guy. He’s the kind with the strange actions, who never responds to your attempts to drive him away. Ousting The Crazy Guy can be alot of hard work. Usually, no matter what kind of irritation you throw at him he springs back with something equally aggravating. Don’t give up hope. You’ll just have to beat him at his creepyness.

How to get rid of the Crazy Guy :P

-Assault his belongings.
-Start hoarding his stuff.
-Take his food while he’s sleeping.
-Start squawking like a bird uncontrollably.
-Perch on your desk chair like it’s a branch and start pecking at the keyboard with your face. If he asks you about your behavior, return to normal and insist you don’t know what he’s talking about.
-Start taking showers that last an hour or more.
-Use your computer for nothing but porn.
-Always hunch over the keyboard like a hungry animal.
-Follow him wherever he goes.
-Stare him down when he talks to you.
-Make it appear that his eyes are hypnotic.
-Develop nightmares. Scream and thrash in your sleep.
-Don’t let anyone ever take pictures of you and say cameras steal your soul.
-Make diseases the topic of every conversation.
-Start wearing his clothes.
-Fart while he's in the room to make it smelly (bootylove's suggestion)

I hope you enjoyed this insanely funny guide :P ( well i thought it was funny)

[Drag0nSlay3r]

Weird Guide but sounds do-able.

Well I hope that if I ever have a roommate I don't hate them. :eek:

Good guide. ;)

[Eskimo Bob]

Originally Posted by Drag0nSlay3r

Weird Guide but sounds do-able.

If you follow this guide i'm pretty sure you'll be able to get rid of a roomate (although they might hate you ), but if they don't go away just kill them :P jk.

[Cody]

What if you get a guy following this guide?

[Webster]

Originally Posted by Firerange

What if you get a guy following this guide?

Then, my friend, you move out:P

[Eskimo Bob]

Originally Posted by Firerange

What if you get a guy following this guide?

You just gotta beat him at his own game, and hope he surrenders :P

[Bootylove]

Pretty good guide, 7/10.

[Eskimo Bob]

Originally Posted by Bootylove

Pretty good guide, 7/10.

Thx bootylove for the feedback, anything i should add to make it better??

[Bootylove]

Guide Ripped from : http://www.pointsincase.com/articles...f_roommate.htm

Sorry, for doubl post!