Drunken Monologue

Alexa Bowen’s Modern Monologue

At least I didn’t do tweak. I’m freaking out. No really. Don’t laugh. I can’t- Where did I put my bra? Oh it’s in my shirt. Good. Isn’t it nice to know things are where you left them? I wish I knew where I set my sanity. Everything is moving too fast to keep track of. I’ve never felt anything like this. The world isn’t staying put. It’s a kaleidoscope of colors and all is one and one is all, it’s a carousel sabotaged by the Mad Hatter spinning out of control faster and faster, until all the colors and all the people blend into each other, a thousand people reduced to a great convulsing shuddering mass. I can feel my heart rate quicken. The music, which has transcended sound, is where I really am. I’m not standing inside an arena of thirty thousand people. I’m floating in a river of sound and light, the heat washing over me in waves, and I am it’s captive, slave to the eternal dance, slave to the beat in my chest, pounding in perfect rhythm to the beat of the dance floor. I can feel hands on me. There are people everywhere, they’re breathing on me and they’re touching me and there’s no room to breathe. There is only the dance, thirty thousand people all dancing to the beat, all rising and falling, all trying to get away from life, trying to wring a little more happiness from their tired existence. Are they going about it the right way? I see a girl with a pacifier, black hair and no top holding her breasts, her head down, tears rolling down her cheeks. I’d rather not repeat what they’re saying around her. A couple guys try to cop a feel and she spits at them. It’s not an entirely useful deterrent. Another girl walks up to her as if to help and get’s pushed away and screamed at. I can’t tell what for. I wish I could spare a shirt but I only have the one and I don’t like the way the guy behind me is dancing. I want to say something but nothing I say can be heard and the only way I can keep myself from losing sanity and clear thought is to keep dancing, to keep watching. I see a man wandering aimlessly through the crowd, his right eye nothing but a red stain leaking blood onto a black shirt. Under the black light it glows like semen at a crime scene. How long has it been since I took them? My brain feels like a boiled egg, The euphoria’s wearing off and I feel awkward, my brain stuck in overdrive. How can my mind be so foreign to me, but yet even tripping I’m still me. There’s a universe hidden inside me that only I can see, and as I look up at an arena of jumping, frying, fizzing ravers, I realize every one of them has their own hidden universe, their own unique lens for viewing the world. My teeth start chattering again and I remember that I took two more pills with a large glowing white mushroom not even an hour ago. What the **** was I thinking. My skin is suddenly all pins and needles and I bite down so hard I can feel pain in my jaw. My legs turn to goop without warning, and I feel a pain in my chest. I feel myself falling, and I reach out at the nearest guy in front of me. He misreads my intentions. He lifts me up but grabs me by the ass and pulls me uncomfortably to him. I just want to get away. I just want to lie on the floor and vomit. Why is he doing this to me? I’m not capable of dancing anymore. I can only hold myself up on him, and as he slides a hand down my back and slaps my ass I puke on his face and his clothes and turn away as I hear laughter and jeers and I don’t make it very far. I can hear him calling me a ***** and I want to get through the crowd and I wonder how I’m supposed to get home as a foot is placed in front of me and I manage to fall in the one place people aren’t packed to the brim. Instantly someone is on top of me and as I scream I can feel my heart pounding far too fast, like it just has to hop out of my chest. The rolling in my mind seems to drown out all the rest, as darkness swallows me up. The puke covered man on top of me grabs me around the throat, both of us being stepped on and trampled, and I have no resistance left to give. I laugh. I laugh in his face. He slaps me. The darkness is somehow very welcoming. Someone kicks him in the face and he rolls off me clutching a bleeding nose. The red and the green mingle on his face. Christmas colors. I want to get up but I can’t. I don’t know why I can’t, but it doesn’t trouble me all that much. I see a hand outstretched. I grab it. As I’m pulled up my hair gets caught underneath someone’s shoe and my head snaps back. I moan and collapse back to the ground. Most of the people don’t even realize I’m even there. A couple of them are concerned and try to give me some space, but I feel a high heel stab into my shoulder. It seems far away and distant. I was just almost raped. I could be trampled to death. But I can only sit there as my body begins to grow more numb. The pain in my chest is growing. My heart is not beating on time. My chest starts shaking, my whole body begins to spasm, and as I look up at thirty thousand people, a billion lights, and infinite universes I will never fully understand, my eyes black out, and I release one final whimper.

tl;;;;dr

Originally Posted by Chase

tl;;;;dr

It's about drugs. Ecstasy to be exact. It's worth it.

USE PARAGRAPHS.

Monologues don't use paragraphs D:

i have amore times then to not do this please