Epic Win

I found this awhile back somewhere, and thought it was hilarious. Hilarious because I believe it's real.

Question.

A few days ago my girlfriend asked if she could masturbate me. While she was doing this, I ejaculated the biggest load ever — all over her face — and now she doesn't want to see me. She said it was disgusting, and I tried to tell her I couldn't help it and that I was sorry. What should I do?
- age 17, United Kingdom

Answer.

Is it that she doesn't want to see you, or did you actually blind her? (Just kidding!) That's a tough one. I hope she realizes all guys she dates will ejaculate as well, so you're no different in that regard. Tell her you made a mistake — that you should have warned her it was going to happen and gotten her out of the "line of fire." You might point out semen is a normal secretion of the male body, and that if she ever wats to have children, someone will have to ejaculate the same stuff inside her. (Then again, that thought may keep her from ever having kids!) Just remember it's not really your problem — she has some growing up to do, so that she's used to the smells and liquids that happen when two people get intimate. They may seem "gross" to the uninitiated, but getting used to them is all part of growing up and learning about sexuality.

No, this is a fail.

That's just one of those lessons in life... If you ejaculate on a woman's face and she stays with you.. she's the one. If she bails, it was never meant to be.

[Yawar]

lol!! that is win.

Originally Posted by Nathan R

If you ejaculate on a woman's face and she stays with you.. she's the one. If she bails, it was never meant to be.

I've heard this, used with different words, so many times.